Goodnight
I miss you I love you so much I hope this doesn’t wake you up I wish I was just cuddling up next to you being held alone just you n I baby I wish you n me could love n be together forever I love you so much your just everything to me with out you I get this feeling in my chest it’s like a pulling darkness on my heart I don’t know I just love you and really need you I imagine us having a life together cause I don’t see that with anyone else a home kids couple of dogs playing in a park first steps reading at night cuddles n kisses the hope that you n I to be together for ever old age watching our kids finish high school Uni having kids of Their own moving out getting married like watching what we created grow up n go on to create something of its own it’s something so beautiful watching you being a dad the look of love n happiness when that positive comes up n the hope n flash before your eyes of what’s to come it would be so beautiful but I’m scared we will never make it because life never lets you have what you want most it steels it away n I’m scared I won’t have that with you something might happen a war or just feelings will change or an accident it’s hard not knowing wanting to have faith with no certainty it’s draining at 17 I’m laying here thinking of the things I hope n pry for most n thinking of everything that could take that away from me I can’t have that I need you without you I would last a day I could crawl into the darkness n lay there n sleep for ever dreaming of how I wished it would be I feel that something could happen n I’d lose everything in a matter of seconds watch it all flash screaming this isn’t how it was supposed to be then it’s gone war your gone a girl your gone a crash to work your gone a phone call your gone it’s all gone how do we live not knowing n how do we love having no clear course not knowing livening someone with your hole body n spirit give that person your self n leave your self so unprotected can vulnerable for loss n pain no sane person would do that then love is insanity my love for you is insanity at its purest if love was a liquid I could see it rush towards you pour right out of me leaving me empty giving you life I’m so fucked up for writing this your probably thinking fuck shes nuts but sometimes when I write it’s like a trance you just write I don’t even know if I will send you this in afraid you will think I’m crazy n leave me I am n maybe you should because if love was a liquid I’d drown you in it sickening isn’t it I’m completely fucking insane You might not love me after all this if I ever do send it to you but know that I love you so so much your my life n you have given me so much reason to keep going I love you n I would do anything for you I hope your getting a goodnights sleep I love you so much
